Sean C from Illinois penned this take on Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On and left it in the comments. I thought it deserved a little more prominence:
WHAT’S GOING ON?
Tigers, Tigers
Not too many of you trying
Batters batters batters
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To DL Sheffield – yesterday
Pitchers, pitchers
Know they’d better strike them out
Fielding is the answer
For only gloves can conquer doubt
You know that you can rest assured
We need back Brandon Inge at third
Runners on
And runners gone
Don’t punish me
With a 6-4-3
Come on score some runs
And get it done
We’ll win the game
We’ll win the game
Tell me who won the game
I’ll tell you who won the game
Tigers, Tigers
What a rapid fall from grace
But who are we to judge them
Simply ’cause they’re in last place?
Wonder how long it’s gonna be
Until Jim says “That’s it for me”
Hitting’s weak
And pitching’s sick
The starters can’t
Make it through the 6th
Come on bulllpen guys
Oft criticized
Don’t blow the game
Don’t blow the game
Jonesy don’t blow the game
Guillen’s error blew the game
classic.
it’s brilliant Sean.
perfect pitch. just outstanding.
congrats, Sean C. you’re famous. well done.
I skimmed over this in the comments before. Glad it got a second look here. Brilliant! Thanks for making me laugh, Sean.
I said a few weeks ago I’d like to hear a little more Motown music. It’s beautiful, Sean! Maybe they should play it at the game.
Put me in the minority that do NOT think the answer is Inge back at 3rd. Inge is fine in his super sub role. Guillen is acceptable at 3B.
-Sam
You have to think of Inge at 3rd from the perspective of the pitchers. I don’t care if he hits .180, he’d significantly lighten the load on the pitching staff by actually fielding ground balls hit in his direction…
Oh goodness. I’m so embarrassed, and I haven’t even read the comments yet. I feel like I owe everyone 50 well-informed and strictly relevant statements now, to atone for my self-indulgence, and I’m not sure I have it in me. But thank you, Billfer. Thank you.
If the Tigers turn it around, I say everyone else should take a crack at rewriting a happier version of the tune.
Sam
That’s a brave minority. I’ll tell you how my thoughts on it have traveled.
CABRERA TRADE: Wow! OK, Inge is gone.
SPRING TRAINING: OK, Inge isn’t gone. Sub? Fine.
SEASON BEGINS: Um… were the scouts wrong? Are they sure Cabrera has ever played 3B? But hey – he’ll get better, and the bat will be worth the wait.
THE SWITCH: Huh? Playing devil’s advocate, I theorize that hatred for Inge’s bat in a hit-or-die strategy must be the reason. OK, fine.
GUILLEN’S EARLY DAYS AT 3B: OK. not fine. The switch was a misguided disaster.
JACQUE’S DEPARTURE: OK, now the Tiger’s can afford to carry Inge’s bat in exchange for defense. Inge at 3B. please.
With a little foresight and planning, all of this could have been avoided. Cabrera could have been groomed for 1B from the get-go (Leyland’s “history of baseball” must not have been written until this April). Guillen was clearly the bat that didn’t belong on the field, nothing new there. Sheffield wanted to play in the field, also nothing new. Inge could have kept his job and the Tigers could have skipped all the angst over his contract and a trade. No platoon partner needed in LF, thus no J. jones, thus the team would not have been limited to outfielders in seeking a lefty bat. Thames could have gotten plenty of work just spelling Ordonez and filling in for Sheffield, and even backing up Cabrera.
Granted, I say this now, in hindsight. But these are all things the Tigers could have considered well before spring training. What prevented it? Lack of confidence that Sheffield could be an everyday LF? Guillen’s reluctance to go to DH? Desire to appease Cabrera by saying “but of course we want you at 3B”? An early Inge-has- got-to-go decision the Tigers bound themselves to before waking up to the fact that he was untradeable?
I don’t know. But the whole thing reeks of bad planning, or at least precarious and untenable plans. That’s not an entirely original opinion of mine – someone else here said much the same a while back (stand up and take credit), and now I agree.