The Tigers are playing like an un-oiled machine, misfiring on all cylinders.

Starting pitching, bullpen, hitting, those funny noises are coming from every part of the engine.

Well here we are with another interleague road series, against 5-0 Strasburg and the 19-12 Nationals. Let’s see what the Tigers have got.

When a team is playing badly, talk turns to the manager of course. Heck, even when a team is playing well, nobody is happy with how the manager uses his bullpen. Ever. That’s one of the advantages of moving around; you soon realize every fan base in every city thinks their manager is the one manager that doesn’t know how to use his bullpen. I’m not sure why this is, but it’s definitely a thing.

There is an old saying though that organizations, of any kind, take on the personality of their managers. Does ours have one? (I mean a personality). When Ausmus was first hired, everyone talked about how smart and good-looking he was, but the Tigers aren’t looking particularly smart (I’ll pass on the good-looking part).

Right now there are two guys on the team that have any kind of edge. Cabrera is Cabrera, and hopefully will be for a while, but right now it’s Ian Kinsler (who is producing), and James McCann (who isn’t, but he has gone into the dugout after balls twice already after coming back, which would inspire a team more inspiration-ready). Remember when your grandmother would say if you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that? They both have permanent Game Face.

There will be typical flimflammery with the National League lineup, involving Cabrera / Martinez / Castellanos. Anibal Sanchez will move a runner over and they will call time so he can save the ball. Bryce Harper will start me on a new Beat the Streak Streak. Great fun will be had, by somebody.

Today’s No Rain in the Forecast So They Have to Play Lineup:

1. Kinsler, 2B
2. JD Martinez, LF
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. Castellanos, 3B
5. Upton, LF
6. McCann, C
7. Gose, CF
8. Iglesias, SS
9. Sanchez, P

Eight-Inning Nick moves up to 4th in the lineup. He will probably sit tomorrow, with Cabrera at 3rd. Buck Farmer back to AAA, and and Tyler Collins back to the bigs (hopefully with middle finger in check), drawing oohs and ahs from Tigers fans. Check that, those were yawns, my bad.

Happy Mother’s Day!

1.5. That’s rhe over/under on JV hits allowed in the first. What do you think?

Four in a row.

I don’t even want to mow the lawn anymore. I need to find deeper meaning in life.

Tigers are 5-7 at home…

1. 2B Ian Kinsler

2. RF J.D. Martinez

3. 1B Miguel Cabrera

4. DH Victor Martinez

5. LF Justin Upton

6. 3B Nick Castellanos

7. C Jarrod Saltalamacchia

8. CF Anthony Gose

9. SS Jose Iglesias

My lawn needs to be mowed. I struggle with the opportunity cost of my time. I’m in that hectic stage of life where my young kids demand a ton of time or they are too hilarious to not spend time with, and I’m highly motivated to grow my business, so free time is hard to come by. And working in the services business curses you to the extent that I have an idea of what my time is worth (in some regards).

But I love mowing my lawn. Fresh cut grass and a nice edge line is as American as apple pie and a three spot by the visiting team in the top of the first. So I’m here to admit that I based my decision on whether I would mow the lawn, or call the guys to do it (for the first time this year – I’ve held out for over a month already), on Saturday’s game time. A Saturday afternoon listening to sweet Dan and redundant Jim on a warm day while I mow is something to look forward to at my age. I envision the kids laughing and playing with some water spraying toy in our freshly carved lawn as my wife, wearing a bikini, brings me an ice cold beer and offers to turn on the patio fan for me to sit and admire my work.

In all actuality, I’ll be pissed b/c I have to mow twice due to all the rain, I’ll miss several clumps of dog poop and will spend 10 minutes carving the sh*t out of the tread of my shoes with a stick, and my weed eater will run out of line and I’ll spend an hour trying to re-string the thing as I wear my fingertips to a pulp. Then my wife will walk in with the latest load from Target and ask that I unpack whatever we already have four of in the pantry. Ahh, the American dream.

***

Awful pitching and no hitting = 3 game sweep. How long do JV and Sanchez have to keep this up before something changes? Any 4th or 5th starter pitching like they have would be on the DL or in the minors by now. Not that anything will change soon. Just words for thought.

Aviles in right for JD Martinez. Hamels v. Zimmermann tonight should be fun.

1. Ian Kinsler, 2B

2. Mike Aviles, RF

3. Miguel Cabrera, 1B

4. Victor Martinez, DH

5. Justin Upton, LF

6. Nick Castellanos, 3B

7. James McCann, C

8. Anthony Gose, CF

9. Jose Iglesias, SS

The Tigers have been on whatever the opposite of a roll is against Cleveland this season.  (What is the opposite of a roll anyway? I’ll go with flop for now). Michael Fulmer takes the mound as the Tigers pursue their O-for-Cleveland flop. (On the bright side, the Tigers are 14-7 against teams without “Cleveland” in their names).

One nice thing last night, if you managed to stay awake for it: Eight Inning Nick got two more hits. He is just tearing it up out there.

Tonight Andrew Romine gets his first career start in center. Hey, why not?

Tomorrow Kevin’s home team comes to Detroit. We have expertly scheduled our rotation so The Dallas Kid gets the Texas games.

Tonight’s Winless in Cleveland lineup:

1. Kinsler, 2B
2. JD Martinez, RF
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. V Martinez, DH
5. Upton, LF
6. Castellanos, 3B
7. Saltalamacchia, C
8. Aviles, SS
9. Romine, CF

If you tuned in late yesterday expecting a 7:00 start, you saw the Tigers already in a 3-0 hole that they never got back out of. You did miss an exciting play at the plate, where it initially looked like JD Martinez was out at home, but was overturned. You didn’t miss much from Verlarnder. The Indians certainly didn’t. If you like those win probability chart things, but the time the Tigers came to bat in the top of the second they only had an 18% chance to win the game.

Verlander put on his Captain Obvious cap after the game: “I need to pitch better. And I’m going to.” Well, OK, he took off the cap halfway through that one.

We did get to see Andrew Romine in center. He has now played every position other than right field and catcher.

Tonight is another 6:10 start, theoretically. But get out your virtual umbrellas; rain is in the forecast. The 6:10 starts are school night deals, to get the kids home earlier. I’m all for new ideas to get younger crowds.

Today’s Tarp-Covered Lineup:

1. Kinsler, 2B
2. JD Martinez, LF
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. V Martinez, DH
5. Upton, LF
6. Castellanos, 3B
7. McCann, C
8. Gose, CF
9. Iglesias, SS

Tonight’s pitching match: Corey Kluber vs. Anibal Sanchez. Ol’ Sanchy is looking pretty serious in that photo, I’m expecting a good outing (I wonder if Brad Ausmus still uses those nicknames for everybody?).

The Tigers are riding a five-game winning streak after a sweep of the struggling Twins. The big news though is that Kate Upton is engaged to tonight’s starting pitcher, as E! News scoops ESPN with the exclusive leak.

Of course now we will all be treated to various theories blaming/crediting the engagement for Verlander’s woes/success on the mound, if what happened when it first came out that they were dating is any guide (that version was the “blaming” one). Upton’s net worth is estimated at a measly $20 million, so she may be in it for the money.

I know what you are all thinking…where is the picture of the ring? OK, here you go.

On a frivolously baseball-specific note, Verlander last beat the Indians on April 17, 2014.

The Cannon returns: James McCann has been recalled from the DL and is in tonight’s starting lineup. To make room for McCann, the Tigers trade Bobby “The Rental” Wilson back to Texas (he came from there in the Holaday trade) and got 27 year old minor league left-hander Chad Bell from the Rangers.

Tonight’s game will be starting at the unfashionably early time of 6:10.

Today’s Five-And-Counting Lineup:

1. Kinsler, 2B
2. JD Martinez, LF
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. V Martinez, DH
5. Upton, LF
6. Castellanos, 3B
7. McCann, C
8. Gose, CF
9. Iglesias, SS

I guess it’s nice to get McCann back into the lineup. But it’s worth noting that Saltalamacchia is a career 4-for-5 against tonight’s pitcher Josh Tomlin, with a home run, a double, and an OPS of 2.433. Hmm, maybe McCann could have waited until tomorrow?

Nothing like a 4 game win streak to superficially heighten your mood. And I know this is you guys too…are we shallow for letting a child’s game affect our emotional state? Or passionate and complex?

The Tigers scored 3 in the first yesterday, and are now 6-0 in games where they score in the first inning.

Baseball-reference game preview here.

1. Ian Kinsler, 2B
2. J.D. Martinez, RF
3. Miguel Cabrera, 1B
4. Victor Martinez, DH
5. Justin Upton, LF
6. Nick Castellanos, 3B
7. Jarrod Saltalamacchia, C
8. Anthony Gose, CF
9. Jose Iglesias, SS

Fulmer was good enough yesterday. Not great – he gave up a lot of hits, but pretty good considering it was his first ML start. I thought the load was appropriate and the pen was dominant again.

Zimmerman on the mound today.

#’s off of Tyler Duffey.

1. Ian Kinsler, 2B (1-for-6)
2. J.D. Martinez, RF (3-for-5, double, walk)
3. Miguel Cabrera, 1B (2-for-5, walk)
4. Victor Martinez, DH (2-for-6, K)
5. Justin Upton, LF
6. Nick Castellanos, 3B (3-for-6, 2 doubles, K)
7. Jarrod Saltalamacchia, C
8. Anthony Gose, CF (1-for-6, walk, 2 K’s)
9. Jose Iglesias, SS

Since my last post the Tigers have completed the first “inning” of baseball, or initial 18 games (assuming my math is right this time…). They ended the top half of the first at 3 games over, and the bottom half at 3 games under, for an even 9-9. Not the start we were hoping for, but probably in line with most expectations. The White Sox are off to a sizzling start, but we’ve seen this before. It’s too early to worry about the standings.

So what did we see in the first inning?

1) Cabrera was a bit worrisome to some, but he’s been back to his old self this week, and there’s no reason for concern in my mind. He’ll hit his usual .320/.400/.560 with 30 HR and 120 RBI. Note that his OPS over the past week is 1.100+.

2) Despite a .231 BA, Saltalamacchia is murdering the baseball, leading the team with a .673 slugging. He’s not going to keep this up, but considering that he’s a backup, I’m thrilled. I love the idea of his lefty power coming off the bench late in games.

3) Verlander is a real concern. His average FB this year sits at 93.01 MPH, just a hair above the MLB average of 92.59. Let’s call it what it is, his days as a power pitcher are done. He has problems starting and finishing games, and his lack of command is going to lead to a lot of early exits. I still have hope that he can transition to a dominant finesse pitcher because he’s always had a plus plus curveball and has developed a legitimate change and slider; but the change is less effective with the loss of velocity on his fastball, and he regularly has problems locating his slider. He’s throwing his slider more than ever before (17.9% of the time), so keep an eye on how well he locates that pitch is moving forward.

4) Anibal Sanchez has had enough starts to put doubts in my mind about his place in the rotation. He hasn’t completed the 6th inning this year after doing so in 20/24 starts last year (excluding his last one where he got injured). His WHIP is nearly 2, and his GO/AO is an awful .68. Groundballs are good. Flyballs are bad; unless you’re a power pitcher. Sanchez is striking out a ton (9.89/9), but that is quickly offset by a 6.08/9 BB rate. Seriously, he’s a problem.

5) Fortunately, the bullpen (other than VerHagen and FRod), has been stellar. If we’re only gonna get 5 innings out of Verlander and Sanchez, we’re going to need the pen. The middle guys have been as advertised, and I think that FRod will progress to normal.

6) VMart looks healthy, we’ll need his bat to keep up with the runs our starters are giving up.

7) Casty had an amazing first inning at the plate, and he’s been better in the field. If he can be an average third baseman I’ll be thrilled.

8) Ausmus looks like he’s “still learning”, though let’s credit him with the recent JD 2-hole move (even though this is post “first inning”). Early returns are positive. I’m curious to see how long he leaves JD in that spot.

Anyway, the Tigers travel to Minnesota for three, and take on a Twins team that looks destined for the Central cellar. Here’s a fun fact. The Twins have only scored 77 runs in 22 games, or 3.5 per game. The Royals have only scored 77 runs (one less game), but the Royals are 5.5 games up on the Twins. That’s pitching right there.

A shocked Michael Fulmer gets the rock tonight in his first big league start. Fulmer is the Tigers’ top pitching prospect, but let’s consider the comparison pool.

Hopping on a plane this evening, someone please post the lineup later today. Baseball-Reference game preview here.

I guess J.D. Martinez doesn’t mind batting 2nd.

In a bit of a surprise yesterday, the Tigers announced that they will call up right-handed prospect Michael Fulmer, and move Shane Greene to the DL with a middle finger issue (of the blister variety, not the Ty Collins variety). Fulmer came to Detroit in the Cespedes trade, and is rated the #1 prospect in the system. Fulmer will start against the Twins Friday night.

This afternoon the Tigers finish off the 4-game series with the A’s with Anibal Sanchez facing righty Chris Bassitt. Bassitt was roughed up for 6 runs in 5 innings his last start, and has a fat 1.48 WHIP for the season, so it may be a good opportunity for the Tiger bats to keep booming.

Today’s Lineup:

1. Kinsler, 2B
2. JD Martinez, LF
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. V Martinez, DH
5. Upton, LF
6. Castellanos, 3B
7. Iglesias, SS
8. Saltalamacchia, C
9. Iglesias, SS
10. Gose, CF

After what looked like a breakout game, the Tigers last night struggled offensively again, as former-Wolverine Rich Hill baffled them with curve after slow curve. Cabrera and Victor Martinez seemed to adjust to it and hit some very hard shots in later at bats, but the rest of the time was left flailing or standing there like the house by the side of the road. The good news, as the Tiger announcers pointed out, is that there is nobody else they are going to face this season who throws so many curveballs.

Manager Brad Ausmus did decide to shake up the lineup a little, focusing on that #2 spot, where Justin Upton has been strikeout-prone.  JD Martinez says that he has never hit 2nd before, so this may feel a bit odd for him.

In other news, Francisco Rodriguez is back, and Finger Collins is back to Toledo

Today’s Lineup:

1. Kinsler, 2B
2. JD Martinez, LF
3. Cabrera, 1B
4. V Martinez, DH
5. Upton, LF
6. Castellanos, 3B
7. Iglesias, SS
8. Wilson, C
9. Gose, CF
10. Iglesias, SS

Upton and JD swap places; Saltalamacchia gets what is probably a well-needed rest in place of Bobby Wilson. (McCann is due back soon).

Verlander takes on Sonny Gray on the pitching side of things.